How Can Birth Children Voice Their Feelings About Fostering and a Looked After Child?

Fostering is often spoken about in terms of the support given to a child who needs a safe home, but it is also something that affects the whole household. For families who foster, birth children are very much part of that journey. Their experiences, feelings and opinions matter just as much as anyone else’s.

When a looked after child comes to live with a fostering family, it can bring new routines, new relationships and sometimes a few uncertainties. Some birth children feel excited about welcoming someone new into the home, while others may feel unsure about what the change will mean for them. Both reactions are completely normal.

Making space for those feelings is an important part of fostering successfully as a family. Birth children should feel able to ask questions, share worries and talk openly about their experiences. When those conversations happen early and honestly, it helps everyone in the household feel more confident about the role they play in supporting a child who needs care.

Understanding how birth children can express their feelings, and how families and fostering services support those conversations, is an important part of building a healthy fostering environment for everyone involved.

What Do We Mean By The Term Looked After Children?

The term looked after children is used within UK law to describe children who are in the care of a local authority or who are being accommodated by the local authority for a period of time. This usually happens because it is not currently safe or possible for the child to live with their birth parents.

A child may become looked after for several different reasons. Some children may have experienced neglect or abuse, while others may have parents who are unable to care for them due to illness, family breakdown, or other difficult circumstances. In these situations, the local authority has a legal responsibility to make sure the child is safe and properly supported.

Not all looked after children live in the same type of placement. Depending on their needs and circumstances, they may live with foster carers, with relatives or friends through kinship care, in residential care, or sometimes remain at home under a legal order with support from the local authority.

When a child is described as looked after, it means the local authority is responsible for overseeing their care and wellbeing. This includes making decisions about where the child lives, ensuring their education and health needs are met, and regularly reviewing their care plan to make sure they are receiving the support they need.

The Typical Concerns Birth Children Might Have

When families begin fostering, it is completely natural for birth children to have questions about how life at home might change. Welcoming a looked after child into the household can bring new routines, different dynamics and sometimes unfamiliar situations. While many birth children feel proud that their family is helping another child, they can also experience mixed emotions as they adjust.

Children often need time to understand what fostering means for them personally. Open conversations and reassurance from parents can make a big difference, helping them feel included and supported as the family adapts. Some worries are especially common among birth children in fostering families, particularly in the early stages.

Birth children may worry about:

• Sharing their parents’ time and attention – they may wonder if their parents will be busier supporting the looked after child.
• Changes to family routines – new house rules, different schedules or adjustments to everyday life can feel unfamiliar at first.
• Sharing their personal space or belongings – this might include bedrooms, toys, or family areas of the home.
• How the looked after child might behave – some children in care may need extra patience and understanding while they settle into a new environment.
• Saying goodbye if a child moves on – birth children can build strong bonds, so it can be difficult when a child they have lived with leaves the family home.

These concerns are a normal part of the adjustment process. With honest conversations, reassurance and support from their parents and link worker, birth children can feel confident that their thoughts and feelings matter within the fostering journey.

Why Listening to Birth Children Is Important in Fostering

Fostering is something that involves the whole family, not just the adults who become approved foster carers. Birth children share their home, their routines and often their parents’ time with a looked after child, so their experiences and feelings are an important part of making fostering work well for everyone.

When birth children feel able to speak openly about how they are feeling, it helps families address any worries early on. Small concerns can be talked through before they grow into bigger frustrations, and children feel reassured that their voice matters within the family. Feeling listened to can also help birth children understand why certain decisions are made and why extra support may sometimes be needed for a looked after child.

Listening to birth children also helps parents understand how fostering is affecting them day to day. Every child responds differently to change, and honest conversations allow parents to recognise when their child may need reassurance, extra time together, or help understanding a situation at home.

For fostering families, these conversations can strengthen relationships within the household. When birth children feel included and respected, they are often more confident in their role within the family and better able to build positive relationships with a looked after child.

How Families Can Encourage Honest Conversations at Home

Open conversations at home are one of the most important ways families can support their birth children when they begin fostering. At Family Fostering Partners Wales, we always emphasise that fostering is something the whole family experiences, so it is important that children feel comfortable sharing how they feel as things change.

When birth children feel able to ask questions or talk about their worries, it helps parents understand how they are adjusting. Some children may feel excited about welcoming a looked after child into their home, while others may feel unsure at first. Both reactions are normal, and making space for those feelings helps children feel heard and supported.

Encouraging these conversations often comes down to simple, everyday moments where children know they can speak openly. Families can support this by:

• Talking about fostering in an age-appropriate way, helping children understand what it means and why a child may need foster care.
• Encouraging questions and listening carefully to their concerns, without dismissing or minimising how they feel.
• Preparing children for changes in the household, such as a new child arriving or adjustments to routines.
• Making sure birth children still have dedicated time with their parents, so they continue to feel secure and valued.
• Checking in regularly, as children’s feelings may change as they adjust to fostering.

Supporting Birth Children in the Fostering Journey

Fostering can be a positive and rewarding experience for the whole family, but it is important to recognise that birth children are also part of that journey. Their thoughts, feelings and experiences matter, and giving them space to share how they feel helps create a supportive environment for everyone in the household.

At Family Fostering Partners Wales, we understand that fostering is a decision made by the whole family. That is why we work closely with foster carers to ensure birth children feel supported, included and prepared for the changes fostering can bring.

If you are thinking about fostering and would like to learn more about how we support fostering families, including the children already living in the home, our team would be happy to speak with you. Get in touch with Family Fostering Partners Wales today to find out more about becoming a foster carer.