How Looked After Children Can Be More Involved in Decisions About Their Lives

When children require foster care, a lot of decisions can feel like they’re happening around them. Yet one of the most powerful ways to support looked after children is ensuring their voices are heard and acted upon.

In Wales, there’s a clear focus on children’s rights and participation. But in day-to-day fostering, making this meaningful can still feel like a challenge. So, how do we move from “being consulted” to truly being involved?

Let’s look at what this really means, and how foster parents and their link workers can play a key role.

Why Involvement Matters for Looked After Children

For looked after children, having a say in decisions is essential for their wellbeing.

When children feel listened to:

• Their confidence grows
• They develop stronger decision-making skills
• They feel safer and more secure
• They build trust with the adults around them

What “Being Involved” Actually Looks Like

Involvement doesn’t mean giving children full responsibility for every big decision. It’s about making their voice part of the process in ways that are appropriate for their age and understanding.

For looked after children, this can include:

• Sharing their views during care reviews
• Helping decide routines, hobbies, and activities
• Having input on contact with family members
• Being included in conversations about school and health
• Choosing how they express their feelings (talking, writing, drawing)

Sometimes it’s the smaller, everyday choices that matter most. What they eat, what they wear, how they spend their free time; these all build a sense of choice and agency.

The Role of Foster Parents

As a foster parent, you are in a unique position to turn “involvement” into something real and consistent.

Here’s how you can support looked after children to be more involved:

1. Create a Safe Space to Speak

Children are more likely to share their views when they feel safe and not judged.

That might mean:

• Picking the right moment
• Listening without interrupting
• Reassuring them that their opinions matter
• Sharing their views with professionals

Sometimes what they say won’t be easy to hear, but it’s important they feel heard.

2. Make Everyday Choices Count

Involvement doesn’t always have to be formal.

Simple actions like:

• Letting them choose dinner 
• Involving them in planning activities
• Asking their opinion on family plans

These small steps build confidence over time.

3. Support Them in Meetings

Care reviews or meeting with professionals can feel overwhelming.

You can help by:

• Explaining what will happen beforehand
• Helping them prepare what they want to say
• Offering alternatives (writing things down or using an advocate)

4. Encourage Their Independence

As children grow, involvement naturally shifts towards independence.

This might include:

• Managing their own routines
• Making decisions about education or hobbies
• Taking part in future planning

It’s about gradually building their ability to make informed choices.

5. Work with Your Link Worker

You’re not expected to do this alone.

Your Link Worker is there to:

• Offer guidance on involving children appropriately
• Help you navigate difficult conversations
• Support you when a child’s wishes are complex or conflicting
• Ensure that the child’s voice is heard in wider decision making.

At Family Fostering Partners, children are central to everything we do. It’s our role as a team with our foster parents to ensure they feel seen, heard and understood.

Overcoming Common Challenges

Being honest, it’s not always straightforward.

Some looked after children:

• May struggle to trust adults
• Might not want to talk about their feelings
• Could say what they think adults want to hear

That’s where patience comes in.

Building trust takes time. Consistency matters more than getting it “right” every time. And sometimes, simply showing you’re willing to listen is the biggest step.

A Rights-Based Approach in Wales

In Wales, children’s rights are central to how services are delivered. Looked after children should be supported to express their views and have those views taken seriously.

What matters in practice is making sure this doesn’t become a tick-box exercise.

True involvement means:

• Listening
• Responding
• Explaining decisions clearly
• Revisiting conversations when needed

Final Thoughts

Helping looked after children be more involved in decisions about their lives isn’t about big gestures, it’s about consistent, everyday actions.

It’s about:

• Listening when it matters
• Asking for their opinion
• Giving choices where possible
• Supporting them to find their voice

And importantly, it’s about recognising that you won’t always get it perfect, but showing up, being open, and being willing to learn alongside the child makes all the difference.

Could you be a foster parent with Family Fostering Partners?

If you’re someone who believes children should be heard, valued, and supported to grow in confidence, fostering could be the right step for you.

At Family Fostering Partners, we provide ongoing support, training, and guidance to help you make a real difference to the lives of looked after children across Wales.

Get in touch today to find out more.

 

FAQs

How can looked after children share their views if they don’t want to talk?

They can express themselves in different ways; writing, drawing, texting, or through an advocate. What matters is giving them options.

Do children have the final say in decisions?

Not always. Adults still have a responsibility to keep children safe, but their views should always be considered and respected.

What if a child’s wishes aren’t possible?

It’s important to explain why clearly and honestly. Feeling heard still matters, even if the outcome isn’t what they hoped for.

How do foster parents learn to support this?

Through training, experience, and support from their Link Worker - it’s a continuous process of learning and reflection.